Happy holidays, sister Santas! With the best time of year right around the corner, I thought it would be all too appropriate to design a hyper-specific gift guide for the person in your family obsessed with all things James Charles. The beauty guru/makeup maven/super YouTuber has had quite the year, and it’s high time to press “publish” on that apology video and wash ourselves clean. I mean, it’s 2020, and 2019 is about to be so over. Let’s sister-start over with these goodies.
A Waist Trainer
Unfortunately Face Tune doesn’t exist in real life (and plastic surgery doesn’t quite do the trick,) so to appear absolutely snatched like James Charles at all times, a waist trainer is the must-have gift of the season. Nothing says, “I love you, sis” quite like a modern-day griddle. It’s oppressive, much like conversations with extended family members around the Christmas tree who may ask, “Who is James Charles?”
This waist trainer will set you back $39.99, which seems like a fair price for all of the back damage it will surely cause.
A Vloggin’ Camera
I don’t mean to make anyone sister-shook, but it’s absolutely imperative that you gift a vlogging camera to someone you love. Surely AI and other various technologies will replace conventional careers, but YouTubers? That shit is forever. Get them started young for just a few hundred bucks. That’s much cheaper than a college education, so it’s a great deal, when you really think about it.
Sugar Bear Hair Vitamins
The best gift is clearly the preferred treats of Instagram thots and influencers everywhere. Of course, they aren’t buying them or consuming them—it’s a brand deal, bitches—but without these sugary sister snacks, how else are you going to piss off longtime BFF Tati Westbrook?
A three-month supply of this sister scam product will set you back $84.99 at Ulta.
The ones that look like socks are fine, but the chunky, slightly-platformed dad sneaks have been Charles’s preferred kicks for, like, ever. It slims your legs, elongates them, and gives a distinctly Bratz doll-like effect. What could be better?
Looks like most of these designer duds range $800 – $1000, so your best bet would be to order knockoffs on Etsy. Just don’t tell your loved one that’s where you got ‘em.
Sister on the Shelf
This is exactly what it sounds like. James Charles, but as an elf on the shelf.
You can’t acquire a 10-inch tall Charles, because it does not exist, so I’m setting the cost: it’s priceless.
Happy holidays to us all!